31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux
by J. Maria
Summary: 31 moments of October/Autumnal/Halloween crossover insanity, of a mainly Buffy/crossover nature.
1. Well, You Certainly Know How to Show

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Well, You Certainly Know How to Show a Girl a Good Time  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Amanda, JK owns Cedric.  
FfA Pairing: Amanda/Cedric Diggory (HP)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Adolescent ghost seeks similar type for companionship and conversation.  
A/N: The term skelping (spelling may be off) comes from the movie _High Spirits_ starring Steve Guttenberg, Darryl Hannah, Peter Gallagher, Peter OToole, and Liam Neeson.

_** 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
** Well, You Certainly Know How to Show a Girl a Good Time_

Amanda leveled her best mock-Buffy glare. When she'd put out feelers for a new face to hang around and haunt with, she hadn't been expecting the good-looking All-American type to answer to her. Except he wasn't American, so she supposed he was really more of British version of an All-American. The polar opposite of her - both the living and dead versions of her.

"You're not what I'm looking for," Amanda said bluntly, turning her back on the tall dark-haired ghost. "You're the exact opposite of what I'm looking for."

"What's wrong with me?" He'd said it with such hurt in his puppy-dog eyes that part of her snapped.

"What's wrong with you? You are nothing like me, you won't get me, you've probably already judged me as being someone so insignificantly puny that you can never understand me. Hell, you probably died in a car accident after one too many keggers at the frat house! You could never understand how I died or why I died -"

"I didn't die in a car accident and I've never been to a frat house or a kegger," Cedric snapped at her, anger flashing through his gentle eyes. Amanda floated back a few steps as he continued to take his own frustration out on her. "I was the bumbling idiot who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. The I found myself stuck here, watching my ex make time with the Boy Who Lived. So I think I have enough brain cells to grasp what youre going through!"

There was a tense silence for several moments. It took that long for the slight anger and resentment to finally burn itself off. Amanda spoke first.

"I kinda died the same way. Wrong place, right time, wrong left turn," she muttered. "Sorry I jumped down your throat."

"Sorry I jumped down yours," Cedric answered.

"So what do you know about skelping?"

"Excuse me?"

"Skelping, you know, ghost sex?" Amanda asked curiously, hovering closer to him.

"Not much," Cedric felt his cheeks darken in embarrassment. This girl certainly switched gears fast. "Why?"

"Well, I was a virgin when I died, and I'd rather not be one in my afterlife."

"I know what you mean," Cedric murmured, thinking about his own doomed love life.

"So, what do you say?"

"Say to what?" Cedric asked, his head snapping up to see her smiling brightly at him.

"To skelping with me."


	2. Misunderstood Demon Solidarity

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Misunderstood Demon Solidarity  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Anya, Kenyon owns the Simi.  
FfA Pairing: Anya Jenkins/Simi (DH)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Restored vengeance demon seeks the ever QVC savvy demon  
A/N: Okay, more Anya/Ash than Anya/Simi - but still. *shrug*

**__****__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Misunderstood Demon Solidarity

__

Ash's fingers itched to strangle the blonde woman who was chattering on and on and on to Simi and Xirena about the pros and cons of multiple orgasms. He wasnt quite sure how they had gotten on this particular topic in a five minute conversation that had started out with Simi's favorite topics - barbequing and QVC, but somehow they'd wandered down this dark and frightening road and Ash wanted them all off of it right now.

"And you will not be trying any of this out, Simi. You either, Xirena," Ash broke through over Anya's babbling voice, and leveled her with what would have and should have been a menacing glare.

"Eww, like I would," Xirena shuddered at the possibility of sweaty orgasm-y sex with a human.

"It's rather rude of you to deny any self-respecting demon the right to the almighty orgasm," Anya muttered.

"Oh, my _akri _lets the Simi do what she wants."

"Except this, Simi," Ash's voice was strict and colder than hed ever been with Simi. He glared again at Anya. "You felt you needed to share this information with her?"

"All I offered was an explanation on why her _akri_ still deals with the bitch-heifer-goddess. The almighty orgasm is usually the answer. It's why I went to Xander in the first place."

"Its a real good evil thing, this orgasm," Simi chirped before turning back to the TV and the Diamonique that glittered through the screen.

Ash just stared at them. Anya looked slightly triumphant as she plopped down beside the two Charonte demons. He was going to regret this lapse in judgment of keeping the former vengeance demon safe. Hell, he was already regretting it.


	3. Stuff of Nightmares

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Stuff of Nightmares  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Illyria, Fox owned Alex.  
FfA Pairing: Illyria/Alex Tully (Drive)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Man seeking missing wife - finds God-King instead  
A/N: Okay, so as much as I tried to be a staunch supporter of _Drive_ mainly for Nathans sake- I only caught a handful of episodes before Fox did what it does best - screw everything up with their patented panic and dump routine.

_**31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux **_  
_Stuff of Nightmares_

The woman - and Alex was really starting to doubt she was even _that_ - was wearing his wife's face. She wasn't his wife but she looked eerily similar to her. Her eyes were a startling blue, and the way she held herself was so stiff that it looked nothing like his wife. There was a possibility that he was imagining the woman in front of him - wouldn't be the first time hed dreamt that she was back with him. And he'd been in an accident, and if the blood dripping down his nose was anything to go by he was sure he'd hit his head pretty badly.

"The human is weak, but the wound is not mortal. He'll live," the blue tinged version of his wife said in a disgusted tone.

"Right then, Illyria, leave the happy meal on the side of the road and let's be on our way," a tired English voice called. "He may be able to make it, but Gunn's not long for this world without you, so let's get to steppin."

"Mortal pets break so easily," she said, standing up and away from Alex's prone form on the asphalt.

****


	4. Gypsies One and All

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Gypsies, One and All  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Jenny, Marvel owns Kurt  
FfA Pairing: Jenny Calendar/Kurt Wagner (X-Men)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: From one traveling person to another.  
A/N: Imagine young Jenny and young Kurt.

****

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

Gypsies, One and All

When she'd met him, it had been All Hallow's Eve. He'd been all dressed up in blue body paint and she'd been in traditional Rom garb and hanging on her cousin's arm as they raced around the crowded streets being wild and carefree. He'd been lurking in the darkened corners of the street until Jenny - as she'd taken to calling herself when they were among the civilized - slammed into him. He caught her nimbly with both hands clasped around her shoulders to pull her back from the crushing crowd.

Jenny stared up into the bluest eyes she'd ever seen and expelled a breath of air she hadnt been aware shed been holding in. She smiled up at the weird costumed boy and tightened her grip on his shoulders. His hood had fallen back, just enough to reveal his blue skin. She leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

"Thank you," Jenny whispered before spinning out of his arms, fully intent on forgetting the boy whod kept her on her feet without ever realizing that it was an encounter that he would forever remember.


	5. To Out Princess

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: To Out Princess  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Kennedy, JK owns Draco.  
FfA Pairing: Kennedy/Draco Malfoy(HP)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: From one drama queen to another  
A/N: So inspired by The Princess Bride - also, Kennedy's a teensy bit darker then where I had intended her to be.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

To Out Princess

"You see, I really don't like you, but I sure as hell don't want to make you any more of a martyr than you've already been making yourself," Kennedy snapped, circling the blond man on the floor. She smiled evilly, mainly because she found this brand of evil left her with a happy tingly sensation and she had every intention of using it up to the last drop. He glared up at her. "I'm gonna beat you until you realize how much of a butt munch you were, and then Im gonna have some real fun."

"You're going to maim and dismember me before killing me. Yes, yes, I've heard this all before," Draco snapped, tugging at the restraints around his wrists and wishing he could summon his wand from the locked trunk she'd thrown it in.

"Not to the death, just until someone screams 'I'm a pretty, pretty princess'," Kennedy grinned, tiara and feather boa in both hands, while the excited little mini-slayers bounced with unadulterated joy. Draco gave a wary look at the four year old with the bright red tube of lipstick and half wished that he'd volunteered to be on any other duty shift than this one.


	6. Satan's Camaro

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Satans Camaro  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Dawn, Hasbro owns Bumblebee  
FfA Pairing: Dawn Summers/Bumblebee (Transformers 2007)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Girl formally known as Key meets matchmaking autobot.  
A/N: Because for some reason, Bumblebee reminded me far too much of a matchmaking mama (okay, I know - one too many Julia Quinn and Amanda Quick novels mashed up with Transformers. Trust me, its probably one of the only times youll hear the three compared or kinda blended.)

**_31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux_**

_Satan's Camaro _

The first time her cousin Sam's car started acting weird, Dawn really hadnt paid it too much mind. The radio had started playing weird, outdated love songs before coming to a dead stop in front of a boy that looked oddly familiar.

"Bumblebee, now is not a good time," Sam had muttered under his breath.

"Sammy? Are you talking to your car?" Dawn had tried not to laugh at her cousin's nervous expression.

"Just working out the kinks, helps to soothe it down by talking to it," Sam said nervously before muttering again under his breath.

"Sam, its a brand new car. It shouldnt _have _kinks. What kind of piece of junk are you driving me in?"

Before Sam could even reply, Dawn's seat bucked and she let out an eardrum-piercing shriek. Sam groaned as the passenger seat bucked beneath her again. Dawn clawed at the seat belt as, leaving long nail marks in the plush interior. The passenger side door flung itself open and Dawn scrambled out of the car as the radio blared the lyrics _All you need is love/love is all you need_. She stumbled forward and crashed into the boy shed been checking out.

"You alright?" he asked, even as her cousin rounded the front of his car to try and calm her down.

"Sam?" Her cousin's girlfriend Mikaela called out, looking between the Camaro, the freaked out girl and Sam.

"Its okay - really, Dawn. I told you its still got kinks!" Sam said through a false smile and gritted teeth.

"It doesn't have _kinks_! Its possessed, Sam! You're driving around in Satan's Camaro!" Dawn shrieked.

"Satan's Camaro - funny you should say that," Sam mused, swiping a hand over his face. "Honestly, you should've met Satan's Crown Victoria. That thing was hell on four wheels."

"Sam, it wasn't a Crown Vic," Mikaela sighed.

_Secret lovers, yeah, thats what we are, trying to hide the way we feel_, the Camaro's speakers blared again.

"Okay, that is just -" Dawn started to say before Sam cut her off.

"Familiar."

"Sam -" Mikaela nodded to a pimped out semi that barreled toward the four teenagers.

"Crap. I knew when Bumblebee started matchmaking it was gonna lead to nothing but trouble," Sam groaned. He turned to the boy standing between him and his cousin. "Look, its gonna sound weird - what's your name?"

"Connor Reilly."

"This is gonna sound weird, Connor, but I really need you and my cousin to get in Satan's Camaro. And I really don't have time to explain why, okay?"

Connor stared at Sam for a second before making up his mind. He grabbed Dawn's arm and pushed her towards the car. Dawn glared at both her should-be rescuer and her cousin.

"I cannot believe my luck!" Dawn screeched again as they tore off down the street, sending her careening into Connor.

****


	7. Joyriding in Satan's Camaro

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Joyriding in Satans Camaro  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Connor, Hasbro owns Bumblebee.  
FfA Pairing: Connor/Bumblebee (Transformers 2007)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Car meets different Boy for the hookup with the Key  
A/N: Connor post season 5 of Angel. I think Connor's reaction to Dawn is once again inspired by me reading one too many Julia Quinn novels.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Joyriding in Satan's Camaro

Connor had sensed something off about the hot looking Camaro long before the girl had stumbled into him in her hasty escape from the car. Oddly enough, the same could be said of the girl seated next to him in the backseat. She slammed into him as the car rounded the nearest corner with alarming speed. She shoved her hair roughly out of her face as she glared up at him.

"Sam, why the hell is Satan's Camaro trying to kill us?"

"Bumblebee isn't trying to kill us, Dawn," her cousin answered. Connor peered over the drivers seat, not really shocked that the wheel was moving on its own.

"She wasn't right about the possessed car, was she?"

"Bumblebee isn't possessed. And he's not trying to kill us. You should've seen the psycho cop car."

"Or Megatron," Mikaela muttered.

"Do you get the feeling they're talking in their own, crazy little language?" Dawn shrieked again as Bumblebee took another sharp turn.

"He called his car 'he' not 'it'," Connor murmured.

"Please, I know a guy who calls his car baby, I just thought my cousin was a little saner than that freak of nature. I think I'd rather be in the Impala," Dawn groaned as she tumbled against him again.

"Will you buckle her in?" Sam shouted.

"Pity I don't have a muzzle for her," Connor muttered, ignoring her little growl of outrage. He was in the process of buckling her in when his seat jerked sharply to the left, sending him sprawling across Dawn's long legs. He groaned as his turned his face up from its current resting place in her lap. Dawn's mouth hung open and her cheeks burned bright pink. Connor couldn't help the tiny grin.

"Hey, hey! Get your head out of my baby cousin's lap!" Sam shouted, turning around in his seat. "Bumblebee, knock it off!"

"Baby cousin? You're three months younger than me!" Dawn's face flushed again. "And why are you calling your car Bumblebee? It's a possessed Camaro, not Herbie the Love Bug!"

"No, he slammed the damn Bug into the other junkers," Sam muttered.

"Sam, your car's not normal!"

"Hey, normal is highly overrated," Connor muttered, thinking of his own past.

Dawn wasn't listening to him however, as a jet aimed itself right at them. She shrieked, burying her head in Connors shoulder as the jet transformed into a giant robot and took aim. The next thing he knew they were sprawled out on the asphalt as Sam's car did its own transformation. Connor really wasn't paying too much attention however, because Dawn was still sprawled over him, her eyes locked on the fight between the now three - no, make that five - robots. Connor grinned inappropriately up at the yellow robot.

"Thank you, Bumblebee."


	8. Vampire of a Different Color

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Vampire of a Different Color  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Dawn, Feehan owns Mikhail Dubrinsky  
FfA Pairing: Dawn Summers/Mikhail Dubinsky (Christine Feehans Dark Series)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: It starts with a summons  
A/N: Dawn kind of had a spaz attack on her lonesome with all of those pretty Carpathians

_**31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux**_

_Vampire of a Different Color_

It had all started with a summons. Okay, it had actually started with a vamp attack somewhere in the Carpathian Mountains and the saving of her own neck by one of the Ancient and noble race of Carpathians. Except the vamps were not her garden variety vamps, but fallen brethren to the Carpathians. The summons to meet with the Prince of the Carpathians and subsequent assigning of a representative of the newly formed Council to the ancient race had happened only two days later. Seeing as Dawn had been the one to stumble across this other race of hunters, she'd drawn the lucky straw. Which was why she was brushing off her best dress as she stood around the crowded room of hunters and their mates.

Dawn glanced nervously around her. The Prince, Mikhail Dubrinksy was flanked by his two guards, Falcon and Jaques. Their lifemates stood slightly behind the safety of the men. Each one of them seemed more beautiful than the next, and she'd yet to see an ounce of body fat on any of them. Of course, an all blood diet could do that to a person. Dawn winced at the amused smile that played on multiple faces before her. She'd forgotten that they could read minds, and she'd been open book-on-tape girl.

"Miss Summers," the Prince said regally, his smile as charming as possible.

"Your - what does one call a prince?" Dawn mused out loud. It wasn't as if they couldn't read her musings any way. "Your highness? My liege? Your greatness? My Prince? Of course, you're really Raven's prince, arent you? Would it be a huge insult to call you that? Would you get super offended and oh my god I pulled a Willow or Vi like babble. You'll like Vi, she's been assigned to this area to keep the non-Carpathian vamps under wraps. Vi's the type to ask questions about a demon or supernatural being before she gets all stake-y with it. She really clicked with Clem and he made the whole 'not all demons are evil' lesson so much easier for her. And it helps that our vamps are so easy to identify. They can't do the whole illusion/compulsion thing like the Carpathian-based vamps do, and they give off a kind of tingle she can feel. Like a spidey-sense. And I didn't stop babbling did I?"

"No, you didn't, Mikhail felt Raven slip beside him, her fingers locking with his. Her head rested gently on his shoulder, taking the girl's babble all in. She was only a handful of years younger than their own daughter. "You may address me as Mikhail, just as easily as you call my lifemate by her name."

"Cool," Dawn muttered to herself. "Did I mention that Vi and I would be based here to help you all with the non-Carpathian-based vamp issues. And we're really good with the whole secret-keeping thing."

"I think we'll adjust to your presence here just fine," Mikhail smiled gently at the still nervous young woman.

"Great. I'm really good at gelling with vamps. Spike and I got along famously. Not that you guys are vamps. You're noble creatures. Oh my god, I cannot just shut up."


	9. Dark Flickers

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Dark Flickers  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Vi, Christine Feehan owns Josef.  
FfA Pairing: Vi/Josef (Christine Feehans Dark Series)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Slayer meets her first Carpathian  
A/N: It took me forever to finish _Dark Symphony_ (mainly because I got kinda side tracked by two HP novels between reading it - and yes, it took me almost three years to finally finish it - which is not normal, not for me) and I fell hard for Josef. He rocks my socks. And so does Vi.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Dark Flickers

She was late for a very important meeting, and the vamps were not making her life any easier right now. But at least they were demon-horde born vamps and not the Carpathian variety Dawn had been telling her about for the last month. Vi Daniels reeled from the blow to her stomach she hadn't been anticipating. She groaned and landed with a thud as the vamp shoved her to the ground, mumbling in a Slavic tongue she barely understood. She fairly sucked at foreign languages.

Vi kicked up and out at the rushing vamp, sending him sprawling back into the open clearing. She shoved herself off the ground and grabbed for her stake from where it had landed. She advanced on the vamp only to jump back as a bolt of lightening incinerated the vamp whod been charging at her again.

The vampire burst into a familiar shroud of dust, which got a laugh out of somebody. Vi's head jerked up to see a man about her again standing across from her, wearing tight black pants and a torn baggy black hoodie that looked odd on him, dark green hair flopping across his eyes and nearly obscuring the piercing in his left eyebrow. His dark eyes caught hers and held them for long moment. Vi felt her heart still, seeking out a rhythm unfamiliar but steady and strong. She shook her head and quickly hid the stake behind her back. A smile quirked at the corner of his mouth, and Vi had a feeling he hadn't missed a thing. Great, her undercover skills were super smooth. Those poor non-vampires were counting on her and Dawn to keep the vamp attacks and discoveries to a bare minimum and shed already flunked test number one.

"Wow, that was weird, right? My cardboard cut-out got slammed by lightening. My boss is gonna be mad. It was um, Jared Ackles stand-in for that movie were shooting," Vi blushed brightly as his eyes never left her face. "I have to run and get a new one. Hollywood is surely the realm of the devil. Bye now."

Vi checked her watch as she raced aware from the creepy yet cute guy she'd left behind her. It hit her, as she was racing up to the gorgeous home of her Carpathian hosts that she realized he probably hadn't understood a lick of what she'd said. She tried to shake away the weird feeling that skipped across her skin. She shivered as Dawn spotted her.

"Vi, you are so very late. I have been stuck with the mind reading hot bodied men and gorgeous woman for far too long."

"Jeez, thanks I feel so loved right now," Vi sighed.

"What happened?"

"Unexpected slayage."

"Slayage? Please, please, please tell me it was of the vampy nature and not the Carpe nature," Dawn moaned.

"Yellow eyes and a bumpy forehead. But I didn't actually slay it," Vi shifted uncomfortably beside her, her eyes drifting over to the circle of curious and potentially deadly race behind her friend.

"You didnt? Vi -"

"I didn't actually drive the stake into his chest, no, but he's dead - crispy style dead. Nothing but ash dead."

"You lit him on fire?"

"Not really. He kinda got struck by lightening and disintegrated into vamp dust."

Dawn blinked at her as if she'd grown three heads. Vi nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as her face grew hot again.

"_He kinda got struck by lightening_?"

"Look all I cared about was the fact that the vamp was dead and that I was late for my first big pow-wow with the Carpathians. I didn't question the dusted vamp or the hot guy in the woods."

"Hot guy?' Dawn asked, leaning forward. "Hot guy like the gaggle of Carpathians hot guys behind me?"

"No, punk-rocker hot. He had green hair, he wasn't a vamp and he wasn't a -"

"Ugly neon green or dark green-light blue kind of green?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah."

"It was greeny-blue I guess."

"Great. Just great. I'm gonna wring that brat's neck," Dawn groaned.

"What brat?"

"You saw a Carpathian male in the woods, Vi. You saw Josef."

_"That_ was Josef the Brat?" Vi cried. "No way. I though you said he was a baby. This hottie was not a baby. He was a full grown man."

"No, he was a fledgling Carpathian who felt like being a big brat. Maybe I'll convince Byron that its a great idea to kill his adopted nephew."


	10. Grumpy Gals Do It Best

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Grumpy Gals Do It Best  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Rona, Kripke owns Jo. (God Bless em both)  
FfA Pairing: Rona/Jo Harvelle (Supernatural)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Not every battle has a happy outcome.  
A/N: Honestly, its meant in good clean fun, and I do like the characters, but they were both bitchy and whiny and down right un-likeable in their first appearances. Sequel of sorts to Boy in the Back Alley

_**31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux**_

_Grumpy Gals Do It Best _

Sam was kind of enjoying being on the outside of one of Rona's biggest fights to date. One that didn't involve slaying of any sort. Ronad hitched a ride with them a few towns back, and apparently Jo had been tracking her for a good long time before the little alley incident two months back. She looked pissed and damn near frightening when she'd pounded on their rented hotel room that night after sending some demon packing. Dean had been the unfortunate one to answer the door. Now both just watched in quiet awe as Rona and Jo went at it for the last hour and a half.

"And you were not supposed to hunt on your own! You're just a kid, Rona!" Jo shouted, sounding more like her mama with every sentence. Not that either Winchester boy was ever going to admit to even thinking that thought.

"I'm nineteen. Three years younger than you, and I don't even have to tell you what dumb shit you've been up to, do I?" Rona shouted right back. "I didn't ask for Buffy to send a little lap dog after me. I survived the Hellmouth -"

"You want a medal, or a chest to pin it on?" Jo snapped.

"You don't know a single thing about that day, so don't go flapping your mouth like you even give a shit about me or my life," Rona said quietly, tears in her eyes. "You took this damn job because you didn't want to cope with your daddy's dumb-ass choices and sigh in a corner over Deanie and what his daddy done did to your precious life."

"Rona," Sam jumped up to intervene then, only because they'd both said hurtful and true things. Rona only pushed him back.

"I don't have to listen to this bullshit anymore. She isn't my watcher. She isn't shit to me. And no amount of puppy-eyes from Sammy boy is gonna change one damn thing."

Rona stalked out into the night, not caring if she'd hurt the other girl whod tried to be family for her. Jo would never understand what it meant to live with an invisible expiration date over her head. Jo hunted - and did so recklessly - because she wanted to, not because she didn't have a choice.


	11. Repellant

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Repellant  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Clem, JK owns Fluffy  
FfA Pairing: Clem/Fluffy (HP)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Theres a reason he sticks to eating kittens  
A/N: No freaking idea where this came from.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Repellant

He'd won a lot of weird things in card games over the years. It was probably why he'd stuck mainly to the high stakes kitten games for the last few years. No one ever bothered to ask him though. The slayer and Spike certainly never really bothered to care, and Dawn and Willow had been shocked at the kitten aspect of the whole ordeal. It had been Vi who'd asked when his old friend Hagrid had brought it up in mixed company.

"Why kittens? Why not parrots or puppies or guinea pigs?"

"I used to play in the puppy circuit a long time ago. But then some idiot brought a Cerberus to the table, and I'm glad Hagrid here won it."

"Okay, but that doesnt explain -" Vi shook her head, looking between the giant man and the droopy skinned demon.

"It was the drool. A little drool from one head is perfectly fine but from three? Fluffy over there nearly made me loose my lunch!" Clem shuddered.


	12. Uncommunicative

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Uncommunicative  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Phantom Dennis, JK owns Nearly-Headless Nick  
FfA Pairing: Phantom Dennis/Nearly-Headless Nick  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: One cant say anything, one cant shut up  
A/N: Silly little idea.

**_31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux_**

_Uncommunicative_

Another tea cup sailed through Nick's body. Then the toaster. And then the coat rack.

"Phantom Dennis, throwing things through me won't make me stop talking to you, you know," Sir Nicholas sighed. "The headmaster was quite adamant about your peaceful transferal to Hogwarts. The new tenants will not be as understanding as your last tenant. Ms. Chase was a muggle worth her mettle no doubt."

A pillow tore itself to shreds in response. Sir Nicholas floated forward. He floated in a sitting position just beside where he assumed Dennis must be sitting.

"They've got wonderful young students you can spend time with and plenty of benevolent spirits just like myself to mingle with. I'm sure the headmaster can give you some color, to show off your spirit's true colors."

In response, the pillows rose from lack of pressure and the front door swung open. Sir Nicholas smiled, and Merlin knew he was ready to be rid of this filthy crowded city.

"Excellent choice, old man. I'm glad you came around to the right sort of thinking. I've heard these muggles have something horrid called Ghost Busters. A thing of nightmares, I tell you, even for a specter such as myself."


	13. Best BBQ in Texas

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Best BBQ in Texas  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns , Robert Rodriguez owns El Wray  
FfA Pairing: Clem/El Wray (Grindhouse: Planet Terror)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: He never misses.  
A/N: Assume its on the lost reel

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Best BBQ in Texas

It was the end of the world as he knew it. It had to be, because here he was in a barbeque shack in the middle of the night in Texas. His species' self preservation hadn't kicked in early enough this time, and now he was surrounded by people with all that tight skin bare and the clothes sticking to their skin covered in gore. And JT wasnt about to serve up barbeque kittens any time soon. It was bad enough the infected looked a little like him without having a gun pointed in his direction.

"I'm not one of them!" Clem yelled over the screams of the humans in the Bone Shack, as Wray leveled the gun at him.

Clem felt the bullet slice through one of his arm folds and heard a wet dull thud against the wall behind him. Clem whirled around to see the body of a sicko slide down the wall, a bit of his arm flesh imbedded in its skull.

"I'm gonna be sick," Clem moaned. "You shot me."

"I shot the infected son of bitch behind you. You're welcome."

"But you shot _me_!"

"I shot _through_ you. I never miss," El Wray pushed past Clem, with Cherry limping behind him. "Does he think I'm Tolo or something? I shot who I was supposed to shoot."


	14. Dummy in the Dark

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Dummy in the Dark  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Devon, Christine owns Desari  
FfA Pairing: Devon/Desari Savage  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Devon always had a way with the ladies of the night  
A/N: Set in the same verse as Dark Inklings, Vampire and Flickers

**_31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux_**

_Dummy in the Dark_

Devon sidled up close to the dark haired beauty at the bar. He knew who she was, he wasn't an idiot. She was the lead singer for the Dark Troubadours and she was smokin hot. He gave her his best grin and held out a bottle of water for her. She gave him the once over before turning away.

"Hey, you're Dasani, right?" Devon called out, purposely screwing up her name just to get her to talk to him.

"Now that would be too obvious of a lure to use just to get a girl to talk to you, Devon," Desari called out behind her, having her own private conversation with her lifemate. _He's one of Dawnie's old friends, my love, nothing to freak out over._

"You know my name, which means you know who I am," Devon grinned.

"I've met your former groupies," Desari flashed him a killer smile.

"Would you be one of them?" Devon caught up with her.

"I didn't spend a lot of time in California when the Dingoes were still performing there."

"Is there a problem, love?" Julian put his arm around her. A short man with spiky blonde hair stood just beside him.

"Devon, we're up," Oz called, motioning to the rest of the Dingoes on stage.

"My adoring fans will wait, I'm busy talking to the sexiest babe in this joint," Devon actually winked at her.

"I don't think her husband feels the same way, Dev," Oz sighed, yanking Devon away from Desari. He nodded respectfully to Desari and Julian before pushing Devon towards the stage.

"She was right. He was remarkably conceited," Desari laughed as soon as Devon was out of earshot. "Now I have to pay up on the bet."


	15. Sense of Smell

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Sense of Smell  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Oz, Christine owns Julian  
FfA Pairing: Oz (Daniel Osbourne)/Julian Savage  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Its all about trust and assumptions.  
A/N: Set in the same verse as Dark Inklings, Vampire, Flickers, and Dummy

**_31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux_**  
_Sense of Smell_

Oz smelled the cat on them the second he saw them onstage that night. Just below that scent that made his baser self rise up on his hackles, was the scent of his little Dawnie. In her last e-mail, Willow had mentioned the top secret assignment Dawn was on in an undisclosed location. There was something about some big change in one of the junior slayers life, but she hadn't gone into detail and well, he hadn't thought to ask.

The tall, broad and blond haired man practically dwarfed him and Oz could only stare up at him as he half listened to the Dark Troubadours playing.

"They're good," the man - Oz could smell the inhuman scent on him so he knew this was no normal man - tried to spark up a conversation.

"Hmm," Oz answered.

"Nice night to be in a club listening to good music, don't you think?" he tried again.

"Yeah," Oz said quietly.

"She was right. You are damn hard to talk to and I know quite a few verbal brick walls."

"Dawn is always right. We already knew that", Oz slide his gaze over at the other male predator.

"Wow, two whole sentences."

"Quality over quantity."

_"Touché_," he extended a hand to Oz, who only gave it a look. "Julian Savage."

"Oz."

"Since you know Dawn, I'll assume you know she's requested your aid."

"Ass. U. Me." Oz answered, redirecting his gaze to the stage. He felt his cell vibrate against his hip and discreetly read the text message. "Or just me."

"I'll just assume again that it's the dog in you that doesn't trust the cat in us," Julian nodded to the band on stage and the small group at a nearby table.

"Basically."


	16. If Wishes Came True

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: If Wishes Came True  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-18 (higher rating because of Jayne)  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Everybody, cause hes the motherfucking princess.  
FfA Pairing: Anyanka/Jayne (Firefly)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Twisted words wouldnt have been as sweet as the intended meaning.  
A/N: Titled after a song I have loved since well, it had to have been the late eighties. I heard it at work last night.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

If Wishes Came True

Anyanka stood before the sobbing hooker who had fallen hard for the rough handed merc that hailed from the Firefly class ship _Serenity_. He had provided her with many and often multiple orgasms but he had called her by the wrong name and it wasn't the name of one of his guns. The hooker actually fancied herself a bit in love with him so it had really hurt her poor delusional feelings.

"I hope he gets so hard fer her that he can't hardly stand," she spat vehemently, sloshing another glass of Mudders Milk down her throat. "I hope 'e gets one _real _hard over that little core bred pilot 'o his."

Anyanka grinned. She could twist the words in the girl's wish and make him into a living statue, but honestly, the intended phrase was just as diabolical as any of the twists she could add would have been. Oh yes, Jayne Cobb would rue the day he called little Sally Ling by River Tam's name.

And somewhere on the outer reaches of the verse, Jayne Cobb was sporting a stiffy for albatross that what flew Serenity.


	17. Diabolical Mastermind

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Diabolical Mastermind  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-18 (for potential squick)  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Marcie, Kripke owns Bobby  
FfA Pairing: Marcie Ross/Bobby Singer (Supernatural)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Theres more to Bobby than meets the eye.  
A/N: Set in the verse of Rona, slayer; Jo, watcher, Sam and Dean - super thrilled. (I might just name it that).  
Note: I got the idea in the middle of the automotive department while listening to the Addams Family theme over the loud speaker. Then came the cackling. My mind is so much more diabolical than the real me (of course, it could then be argued that my mind is the real me).

****************

_31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux_

_Diabolical Mastermind_

"I'm home," Bobby Singer sighed, pushing the door to his quiet little cabin. Fingers caressed his cheek as she let her footsteps pad heavily against the floor. Bobby placed a gentle kiss to the invisible palm.

"I missed ya," Her voice was hoarse from disuse. Her eyes peered up at him lovingly.

Two years of his intense research and still all he could see of the woman he'd come to love was her eyes. Two years since he'd found her blood on his back porch and had not so gracefully stumbled over her. Two years since she'd stopped trying to kill him. Bobby smiled to himself as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her bare, rounded belly bumped against his, and Bobby groaned as she pressed her lips against his.

"My poor scruffy man was out there dealing with the brats again, hmm?"

"Sam and Dean needed me to track down that girl they've got with em. Trust me, I didn't want to go, Marcie," Bobby gulped as her fingers worked nimbly to undo the buttons on his shirt. "What in the five hells are you wearing, girl?"

"Nothing," Marcie's hand pushed the T-shirt up higher.

"Bobby! We got a problem!" Dean's voice screamed from outside the door seconds before it opened. Dean had a bloodied up girl on his arm that Bobby barely recognized as little Jo Harvelle. Dean nearly dropped her when he saw the older hunter's shirt half way up his body. "Awkward."

"Get yer ass outta here, _and you go put something on_," Bobby hissed at Marcie. He fixed his shirt and shoved his door open again to go yell at the Winchester brothers. Sam was looking confused, Rona was sobbing on his shoulder, Dean was looking embarrassed and well, Jo looked like hell. "What did you dumb asses do _now_?"


	18. Curiosity Kills

**__**

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Curiosity Kills  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-21  
Disclaimer: Joss owns EVERYTHING, cuz he's the motherfucking princess.  
FfA Pairing: Anyanka/River Tam (Firefly)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Vengance wishes don't always end with blood and internal organs.  
A/N: Smut, smut, smut, smutty smut smut, wonderful glorious treat style smut.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Curiosity Kills

Anyanka always did love to watch her little wishes work themselves out. The hookers wish had left Jayne Cobb heavy with insatiable lust for the half-crazy Core born girl/seer/pilot. Anyanka observed from a very discreet location as he tried to release the longing from his loins hour by hour. Nothing worked, which of course made her plan of action work perfectly. He lay exhausted but nowhere near sated in his bunk, the woman/weapon dancing and enticing him just beyond his eyelids.

A click and rasp of the door to his bunk being opened shocked both punisher and punished. No one ever came into Jayne's bunk. Not ever. He leaned up on his elbows, not bothering to cover his naked lap. _If the gorram idgit is brave enough ta barge into my bunk, hes stuck with the _view, Jayne thought bitterly.

Bare feet emerged first, followed by the draping blue skirt of the dress that had survived the battle for her sanity and their lives back on Mr. Universes Moon. Shyness had been a foreign expression on River Tam's face since she'd been just a naked girl in a box nearly two years ago, but it was there in her eyes. Jayne groaned at her presence, sure he was hallucinating from the painful tightness of his loins. River didn't look at him as she strode forward, purposefully keeping her eyes away from his exposed flesh. She glanced up at where Anyanka had been watching from. River spoke softly.

"Curses have outs, mazes in the words," River took a step closer to Jaynes prone form, the hem of her skirt hitting his bare knees. She took a deep breath before taking the final step. Both Anyanka and Jayne were shocked when she bunched up her skirt in her hands and gently straddled Jaynes naked lap. He groaned at the contact of her bare flesh - _she aint wearin a lick under them death skirts_ he thought frantically - against his aching flesh. River groaned, tossing a triumphant look over at Anyanka. "Perfect revenge. No easy release to the need inspired by the paragon. Hidden words, demon woman."

"Moon brain, this ain't no game, _gorramit!"_ Jayne hissed as she renewed contact, a matching moan of pleasure leaving her lips.

"Called her by the name you wont call _me_, hurt her because she knew it was unattainable. No Rim boy can ever have a Core born lady," River gasped as Jayne flipped her onto her back, grinding his hips against hers.

"And yet, here the Core born _lady_ brought herself down to my bunk, rubbin her wantin piece o trim up against me, a poor ole Rim boy," Jayne growled into her ear. Hell, Mal'd have his hide if he did any more damage that he'd done now by rubbing up against Moon brain's virgin body. He pushed himself back, "So you best stop this gorram game, moon -"

Rivers legs clamped tightly around his waist, slowly rubbing herself against him. Jayne shook with the pleasure at the renewed contact. Her nails sank into his shirt and the tense muscles beneath the thin fabric. She looked deeply into his eyes and spoke evenly and in sync with her motions.

"Not a virgin body, not since before she stepped foot into the Academy," River murmured. "Need something to erase the memories and need proof that this orgasm thing exists in females."

River arched up against him, the tip of his member now positioned just above her slick entrance. Jayne had gone still at her mentioned of the Academy that had taken her innocence in more ways than one. They'd tried to cut away every bit of her that was a normal, real girl.

"He thinks of her with burning neccessity. There are other options and all he sees is the little one dancing, pictures her naked and waiting and in the midst of the dance she shouldn't know and he can't take," River pulled him closer, but her eyes flicked toward Anyanka again. Before he could even blink, River thrust herself up, and he was deeply embedded in soft feminine flesh. Jayne groaned and River smiled up at the vengeance demon. "But she can give it - the in and the out. The noblest gesture of the grapes."

Anyanka watched for a few more minutes, conceding the loss to the younger woman. In a way it was a win though, because River Tam would never let Jayne Cobb out of her bed or his again. For all his gruff exterior, Jayne Cobb was a bit of a romantic.


	19. Stupor

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Stupor  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Rona, Kripke owns Dean  
FfA Pairing: Rona/Dean Winchester (Supernatural)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Drunken follies  
A/N: The name screw up came to me about the same time the Marcie/Bobby bit came to me. Diabolical mind, I tell you!

**_31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux_**

_Stupor_

Copious amounts of alcohol had been thrown down her throat by a hand she kinda sorta remembered as being her own hand. She'd fucked up really bad this time. Her watcher had been as stupid as she had been, and the older girl had gotten her ass handed to her. All because Rona couldn't keep her temper or her mouth in check. The demon who'd practically flung Jo like a rag doll when shed taken a flying leap onto his back hadn't lived long enough to gloat over it. Rona had snapped his neck like a twig before snatching Dean's lucky lighter from his hand and torching the son of a bitch.

Dean and Sam had rushed the loopy sounding Jo to their friend Bobby, but Rona had hung back, the keys to Jo's pick-up firmly in her hand. And then she'd hauled ass to the closest bar and went head-first for the hardest meanest drink on the menu. She was pretty sure that it was Sam that found her three hours and countless shots later. Dean may or may not have been with him, she didn't really care though. It was definitely the younger Winchester boy that she'd been attracted to, and the older boy certainly didn't have the puppy eyes. She barely knew that shed sai'd that bit of her drunken thought process out loud.

"Course I do, who the hell do you think taught Sammy-boy how to do it?" Dean muttered, trying to steady Rona's already wobbly form as she slumped off the bar stool.

"Dam and Sean, Dam and Sean, always bein' big damn heroes," Rona laughed to herself as she reached for the empty glass behind her. Her face fell when she realized a minute later that it was completely empty. "No booze for this big damn hero, Dammy?"

"How many drinks did you sell her?" Dean snapped at the bartender, grabbing Rona's hand away from the drink of the man next to her.

"She paid for 'em, and she's legal, ain't she?"

Dean started to say something, opened and closed his mouth before frowning. He groaned as she reached again for another drink.

"I don't know, but that isn't the point!" Dean groaned in pain as Rona stomped her foot down hard on his insole. "Son of a bitch, that hurt, Ro!"

"Hell, son, we ain't ever seen a little slip of a girl hold down that many drinks before," the bartender laughed. Dean wasn't at all comfortable with the gleam in the older man's eye. The bartender clucked his tongue and let his eyes roam down Rona's body. "A real pleasure to watch her drink."

"Hey! That's my little sister youre eyeballin'," Dean yelled angrily, snatching up Rona's jacket and credit card off counter. The bartender and the man gave him a disbelieving look. "What, you've never seen a blended family before?"

She didn't remember leaving the bar, but she remembered Sam calling her his little sister. She passed out in the back of the Impala and imagined telling him off. All Dean heard was grumbling and moaning. He glanced back at her, making sure she wasn't puking or anything.

"You puke in this car and I swear to God I'm kicking your ass, girl or not."

"Fuck you," Rona moaned.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, save the pillow talk and sweet nothing's for Sam. Save the puke for him too," Dean muttered.

Rona lurched up in the backseat twenty minutes later, her head hitting hard into someones stomach. Both parties groaned as she fell back against the seat. Rona squinted up at Sam and without thinking - as if she'd really done much of _that_ tonight - pulled him down for a hot kiss.

Dean, however, was the recipient of the slobbery drunken kiss being administered by the girl his little brother liked and who thought he was said little brother. He was in the process of pushing her away when he heard Sam behind them.

"Dean, did you find Ro - what the hell?"

Rona blinked in confusion as she pulled away to see Dean's face in front of her and Sam standing over his shoulder. Dean yanked her up and out of the Impala. Rona looked Dean with pure horror in her eyes before she promptly threw up at her feet.

"And on that note, I'm going to go check on Jo," Dean muttered. "And bleach out my mouth. That is just sick, dude. Keep your girlfriend far, far away from my baby."

"What -" Sam started to ask as he held Rona up on her feet.

"Oh, god, I kissed Dean. Im gonna be sick," Rona sobbed before promptly puking again.


	20. Spiked Punch and Easy Access

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Spiked Punch and Easy Access  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-18  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Vi, JK owns Draco  
FfA Pairing: Vi/Draco Malfoy (HP)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Spiked punch, consenting adults and pantyhose holes  
A/N: Based loosely on actual events involving my sisters Halloween costume (we went as the Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus and she was Sarah Jessica Parkers witch -who was named Sarah.) Actually - its just the holes part, nothing else really)  
A/N2: ****Deathly Hallows Spoilers****.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Spiked Punch and Easy Access

There was a hole in her pantyhose. No, correction, there were definitely _two_ holes because she could feel his fingertips in places she shouldn't be feeling skin on skin. Vi sucked in a quick breath before arching up to renew the contact. Her mind reeled at the intimate touch of the man in front of her.

Her back was pressed firmly against the wall outside the men's room, and she could hear the rest of the partygoers still rocking it out down the hall. His short blond hair brushed against her cheeks as he chewed softly on her bottom lip. Vi felt him edge her knee up to his hip and slip between her legs.

His mouth fastened itself to hers as he drove himself into her, ripping the front hole in her purple striped pantyhose even farther. She moaned in pure pleasure as his fingers lost their grip on her bottom and slipped into the back hole.

When they were both sated and spent, Vi found herself staring in the eyes of the only man who had ever dared to take her in a very public hallway. Draco smirked at her. Vi punched him lightly.

"You jerk! You are so _not _drunk from the punch! You purposely ruined _another_ pair of my pantyhose!"

"You started it," Draco shot back, his fingers tracing patterns on her collarbone.

"And you technically lost the bet, buster," Vi huffed, pushing away from him.

"How? I made an ass of myself -"

"Big stretch there," Vi hissed.

"As I was saying, I then acted like a muggle caveman -"

"Don't say that!" Vi's eyes widened in horror. "Don't use the C word - have you not seen all those Geiko commercials? I made you watch them!"

"Vi, do not try and change the subject. I lived up to your little fantasy, so I clearly won."

"Bullshit. I am not naming our son that ridiculous name. Scorpion is not a respectable name, nor is it normal."

"It is not Scorpion, it is Scorp-"

"And why are you so sure our baby is a boy?" Vi countered. "I happen to come from a very female heavy line. Not many slayers have baby boys, you know."

"Fine. If our child is a boy, then we go with my sacred family name and you cease your protests on the matter. If it's a girl, you can name her Formaldehyde without a peep from me."

"You're on, Mr. Malfoy."

"Then lets get home, Mrs. Malfoy."


	21. Covering Britney

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Covering Britney  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Lorne, Kenyon owns The Simi  
FfA Pairing: Lorne/The Simi (Dark-Hunters)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary:  
A/N: Is it bad that I want to blame this one _entirely_ on the Plastic!Winchester Theater musicale episode? And why the hell does Ash run interferance in all of my Simi stories?

**_31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux_**

_Covering Britney_

"Don't make me ask you again, Lorne," Ash hissed at the demon in his home.

"Trust me, Ashy-poo, this is one reading you don't want to know about."

"I asked you here because I couldn't see anything and this is one of those need to know situations, Lorne. What did you see about Simi?"

"Nothing. Your girls - all of them, and boy do you have more your share of strong, independent ladies - are all just fine."

"But?"

"It's extremely stressful trying to read the Simi," Lorne smiled ruefully, taking a long sip of Sea Breeze. Ash stiffened.

"Why?"

"Have you ever had to listen to her sing _Oops I Did it Again_?" Lorne shivered. "Your girl has one strong set of pipes and she put poor Miss Spears to shame. To bad the Simi can't take her act on the road or out into the world of mere mortals."


	22. Bat Crazy

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Bat Shit Crazy  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15 (a bit dark)  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Spike, Kenyon owns Zarek (the lucky, lucky people that they are)  
FfA Pairing: Spike/Zarek (Dark-Hunter)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Neither one of them has a clean bill of sanity  
A/N: A bit darker than I intended

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Bat Shit Crazy

"If it ain't little miss Mary Sunshine," Spike drawled, popping a squat down beside the Dark-Hunter most people steered clear of for a reason.

"Bottom feeder," Zarek replied taking another shot.

"Oooh, someone's in a giving mood tonight," Spike chuckled. "I see the old ball an' chain finally let you out of the igloo."

"Probably easier to kill me this way," Zarek shrugged.

Spike glanced over at the slightly crazy Dark-Hunter. He took a swig of his own drink before turning away.

"You're no fun when you know they're all out to get you," Spike grumbled.

"Like I really fucking care anymore?" Zarek glared at him. "How about you get out of my space, princess, before I throw you on another cross?"


	23. Walking Myth

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Walking Myth  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Rona, Kripke owns Bobby  
FfA Pairing: Rona/Bobby (Supernatural)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Because theres something just not right.  
A/N: The same verse as all the other Rona/Sam/Jo/Dean/Marcie/Bobby ficlets. I think its gonna be called Damaged or Super Thrilled. Not sure yet. (And while it seems that I do a lot of Dean bashing - I absolutely adore the little pyro. Rona, however, doesn't share my affections)

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Walking Myth

Not that she wasn't grateful as all hell that Bobby had patched up Jo, but the big man was hiding something that not even the boys had really picked up on. Of course, said boys included Dumb-Ass Dean so it wasn't completely unusual that they'd been too blind to see. And then while she was waiting for Jo to wake up, she saw it. Well, really she saw a cup move about an inch off the table.

"Son of bitch! Bobby, you got some creepy ass shit going on in here!" Rona yelled, startling the three men who were huddled over Jo's sleeping form. Her eyes flickered to the nearest gun, which happened to be in Dean's hand. "What are you waiting for, shoot it!"

"Shoot what?" Dean snapped.

"The damn thing that made that cup move," Rona gritted her teeth. Dean ignored the very potent threat and merely rolled his eyes.

"She's still drunk, dude," Dean sighed, tucking his gun away. Bobby's shoulders fell a little, until he saw Rona looking at him.

"You know what's in here with us? This invisible entity is here because of you, isn't it?" Rona accused, stalking toward the table. Bobby was on her in an instant, glaring down at her.

"You stay the hell away from her, you got me little girl?"

"Bobby?" a woman's voice spoke quietly at his shoulder.

"What the hell!" Dean and Sam both jumped at the voice.

"What is she?" Rona demanded, her eyes locking on the pair of hazel eyes just behind the older hunter.

"I'm a human who got trapped by some curse that turned me invisible and then got recruited by some government agency that went by the name of the Initiative," the voice answered. "They turned on me and left me for dead before Bobby saved me."

"She's my wife Marcie," Bobby snapped.

"Dude, that clears up so much about earlier," Dean groaned. "Thank _god. _For a second there, Bobby, I thought you were some creepy ass freak who liked to -"

"Sleep with invisible women who sound like they're half his age?" Rona snapped.

"Live and let love, Ro," Dean smirked at her.

"At least I can ask her about old schoolmates of mine," Marcie said quietly. "She was in Sunnydale before it imploded."

"You've been in that creepy ass little town?" Rona asked.

"How do you think I ended up this way? The Hellmouth turned me invisible back in '97 -"

"When you were a sophomore who got ignored and took her revenge out on the popular kids?" Ronas eyes widened as she remembered the story Xander had told them all when the crazy stuff had started to happen when Andrew had opened up the Hellmouth.

"She did what now?" Sam blinked in confusion.

"I take it you know Buffy," Marcie sounded a bit sheepish.

"And Willow and Xander. All three of them survived the Hellmouth."

"And Cordelia?" There was years worth of resentment in her voice.

"She died back in 2004, I think. She'd moved to L.A. after graduation."

"Really."

"Okay, this conversation is getting really creepy and awkward," Dean muttered.

"She didn't have anything to do with it, idiot," both Bobby and Rona snapped. Bobby frowned at her, and Rona merely shrugged before explaining. "She got impregnated by a demon who destroyed her when it tried to take over the world by killing people with kindness."

"You run with some seriously twisted people, Rona," Dean muttered.

"I know, I run with you guys."


	24. And Baby Makes It Best

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: And Baby Makes It Best  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Marcie, Kripke owns Sam  
FfA Pairing: Marcie Ross/Sam Winchester (Supernatural)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Hes got questions and maybe shes got answers.  
A/N: Marcies only slightly evil. Cmon, who among us didn't want to slice up some Bimbo Barbie we went to high school with? *cough* Definitely not me, no way. The nuns didn't approve of such violence in civilized young women of God.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

And Baby Makes It Best

Sam gave the eyes a tight and increasingly uncomfortable smile. The eyes blinked in a creepy lidless way and Sams face scrunched up like he was gonna be sick. A low throaty chuckle hit his ears and Sams puke face turned down into a frown.

"I know what you're thinking, Sammy," Marcie sighed, picking up the tea cup Bobby had set before her. Sam frowned deeper, half expecting to see the liquid go down her throat. "I'm not always this transparent, and that only happens to ghosts."

"You're not? It doesn't?"

"I was cursed on a Hellmouth, a patch of earth so rife with mystical energy that any form of magic can be produced there. Anything and everything has happened in that little Podunk town. Its like living on the beach with countless waves surging over you every day. This place and most places on this earth are like living in the Sahara. Magics hard to come by and with a little bit of magic I'm definitely easier to see."

Sam leaned forward, the student in him eager for any drop of knowledge to be found. Marcie smiled at him. She knew there was a reason she liked him better than Dean. It was the instructor the Initiative had made her into that felt the urge to teach him about her troubles with magic.

"So if you were on a mystical convergence point, you could be whole and seen again?" Sam asked eagerly. He glanced over at his sleeping Slayer. "You know about the other Hellmouth -"

"Its in Cleveland," Marcie said with a tinge of disgust in her voice. "Why the hell would I want to go to Cleveland? Its fucking cold there, Sammy."

"But you and Bobby - don't you ever want him to see your face?"

"Who says he doesn't?"

"But you just said -"

"Sometimes it rains in the Sahara, Sam," Marcies face flickered into a solid image. Her dark hair was cropped short and a thin pale scar ran down the left side of her cheek. Sam sucked in his breath at the sight before she slowly flickered out.

"Have you shown -"

"Bobby's seen this face. He don't need it to find all the right spots though," Sam looked sick again at the idea of Bobby having sex ever, much less than with the woman who looked like she was only a year or so older than Dean. A raspy sigh came from her general direction, as even her eyes had faded. "I really shouldn't have done that little trick."

"Why not?"

"Rain doesn't last forever and we've gotta conserve what we've got. This all but burned me out."

"Conserve for what?" Sam shook his head in confusion.

"For the birth of our little one," Sam heard the maternal note in her voice as he gagged. "I told you he doesn't need to see it just to find it."


	25. Not Really a Vacation

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Not Really a Vacation  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Whistler, Castle (Krentz) owns Rafe Stonebraker  
FfA Pairing: Whistler/Rafe Stonebraker (Jayne Castles St. Helens series) (Orchid)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Its not really a vacation per se.  
A/N: Because the fangirl in me went OMGFTW? How did that sneaky little demon get there?

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Not Really a Vacation

Whistler had refused to take anymore messages to the slayer or the souled vampire ever again. They were just too hell bent on shooting the messenger, or you know, making his ribs into a hat. The Powers had granted this tiny boon and had merrily sent him to observe Talents in an alternative dimension.

St. Helens didn't have demons or vampires and it definitely wasn't on earth. In fact, the mortals in this dimension had effectively been cut off from their corruptive home planet. St. Helens wasn't a bad little place, for all the strict conservative morals it flaunted. Still, bad guys were bad guys and absolute power still tended to corrupt absolutely.

And then there were guys like Stonebraker. Try ball-breaker. Still, he and his little supercharged Talent buddies and their inexhaustible Prime girlies were no where near as scary as the petite blonde he'd left back in that dimension. He wasn't saying that this dimension was squeaky-clean safe, but all in all Stonebraker needed his help and thus the threat about making his rib-cage into a hat hadn't happened just yet. Stonebraker may be a primitive talent, but he sure as hell wasn't as scary or strong as the pissed off Slayer.


	26. It's Really Important

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Its Really Important  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Buffy, Hasbro owns Optimus Prime  
FfA Pairing: Buffy Summers/Optimus Prime  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: It is for a really, really good cause.  
A/N: Inspired by a Kohls commercial - yeah, that can never be a good thing.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

It's Really Important

Buffy was thoroughly impressed that her little cousin Sam had that good old Summers/Witwicky spunk running through his veins. The stupid hero trait - not so much. Though she had to admire the little perks that came with said stupidity. She eyes said perk gleefully.

"He's absolutely perfect, Sam!" Buffy breathed happily. She smiled at little Sam. "We're really gonna need his help this weekend."

"Buffy, no, no!" Sam groaned, but it was too late because Optimus was already doing his noble creature thing.

"I would be honored to escort such a fine protector of the humans anywhere she wishes," Optimus smiled fondly.

Sam yanked his cousin away from the leader of the Autobots. Buffy merely glared at him.

"You cannot ask this of him, Buffy. Seriously, I forbid it?"

"Just like I forbade you to get Dawnie into any trouble while she was visiting you?" Buffy returned.

"That couldn't be stopped -"

"And dragging the boy she's practically attached to at the lips into it couldn't be stopped either? Buffy's eyes narrowed.

"Okay - that, that probably could have been stopped."

"I am truly honored to escort your cousin, Sam. I will protect her."

"It's not about you protecting her, Optimus," Sam shouted before glaring at his cousin. "You can take Bumblebee."

"Excuse me, that matchmaking pimp? Eh, no," Buffy shook her head. "Besides he's got extremely limited trunk space and despite my dislike for his hook-up plans for my baby sister, I really wouldnt enjoy shoving countless foreign objects up his trunk."

"But you would enjoy doing that to Optimus?" Sam shook his head to get that image out of his mind.

"We already rented an attachable cargo carrier. We wouldn't be shoving anything anywhere," Buffy smiled.

"He's here to save the world, Buffy, not to be convenient for your shopping sprees," Sam snapped.

"Its a one day sale, Sam. Those aren't convenient for anyone," Buffy shook away her own frightening thought before smiling again. "Besides it's for a really important cause, Sam."

"Shopping -"

"_Clothing_ poor confused parentless girls is very important, Sam," Optimus said very seriously, as if he were talking about the All-Spark again. Sam threw up his hands.

"Fine, fine do whatever you want. It's your ass that's gonna be pulling all that _useless_ shit she wants to buy."

A/N2: The commercial popped up around Halloween and featured numerous women driving around semis in order to hold all of their bargains. My sister used to work for Kohls and trust me, the bargains were never that great.


	27. Krazy With a Capital K  Take Two

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Krazy With a Capital K - Take Two  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-18  
Disclaimer: Joss owns his stuff, Murphy owns Glee.  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind.  
Part Summary: Horror movie scenarios.  
A/N: So, this (and part 31) were originally pairings set in J.R. Wards Black Dagger Brotherhood (because it this set was written during the first few books when I didnt want to strangle her and the characters every five minutes.) It featured Spike and Zsadist, and was a companion piece of sorts to the Spike & Zarek (Dark-Hunters) one (if you'd like to read the original pieces, they're up on my account on ). And since there's a ban on writing in Wards verse here, this is what I like to call Alterno-Part-Deux. Enjoy.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Krazy with a Capital K - Take Two

"Well, that was just disappointing," Vi sighed, leaning back on the sofa she was sharing with Dawn.

"I'm never going to look at a shower the same way again, and all you can say is that it was _disappointing_?" Rachel Berry stared at her like she'd grown three heads. Again. Not that _anyone _was supposed to know about _that_.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, the whole taxidermy'd mother and dressing up and talking for her was squick worthy, but it won't make me wet the bed for six weeks," Vi shrugged, silently adding the _again_. Honestly she had to stop hanging out with Connor and Dawn. They got her into the worst spell mishaps, and she was supposed to be part of their protection detail while in Lima.

"That's just a frightening visual," Artie frowned at her.

"It's just - scary movies don't scare me anymore, you know?" Vi shrugged.

The Glee kids who'd instantly befriended Dawn when they were transferred here didn't really get Vi. And that was okay. She couldn't carry a note, she was forbidden to join organized sports, and she wasn't a brainiac. And she might have kicked a douche bag in the nuts when he tried to throw a three dollar slushie in her face for no apparent reason.

"Scary movies are the best," Finn and Puck shared a look over Vi's head. Of course, that could be because both Quinn and Rachel respectively had their faces buried in the two boys shoulders. Vi rolled her eyes at the guy look.

"They just don't scare me anymore," Vi shrugged again, the seventeen year old girl in her wishing she would be scared by them if only to have a boy's shoulder to bury her head in during the gory scenes. She just wished she could squelch the whole slayer bit for like five seconds and be a normal girl. "I'd be more scared if it was like a romantic comedy and then bam axe murder!"

"Okay, remind me to never go on a date with you," Finn frowned, giving her that Vi-is-being-a-creeper-again look.

"Actually, rom-coms are my idea of a scary movie," Mike Chang said quietly from the other side of Quinn, giving Vi a little bit of a smile.

"I know, right?" Vi grinned back at him, sort of feeling not so crazy for a minute or two.


	28. Maybe She's Someone's Sanity

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Maybe Shes Someones Sanity  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Dru, Feehan owns Shea  
FfA Pairing: Drusilla/Shea (Christine Feehans Dark Series)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: The hand that rocks the cradle is a bag full of crazy.  
A/N: Some Spoilers for Dark Celebration, and set in the same verse as Inklings. See, this is also a great example of what happens when you watch the CMAs and think about fic.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Maybe She's Someone's Sanity

Shea glanced up at the woman hovering over her son's cradle. Her gut reaction was to yank the intruder back by the long dark hair that flowed down her back. But the woman hadn't moved her hands from the cradle's edge. A single ebony strand of hair flowed down over her porcelain cheek and teased the small infant's knuckles.

Her feral eyes turned over to Shea and the Carpathian female tensed at the sight. The vicious look in her eyes vanished and the beautiful woman returned, her face masking that of the monster. The vampire hummed to herself as Shea's son cooed up at her.

"That's a precious little male, but shh, we shan't let mummy hear us, shall we? Our little secret, the echoes in your mind and mine. Thousand stars calling us and just the two we need waiting for us, aren't they? But mummy can't know yet, can she?"

Shea called silently for her lifemate, hedging closer to their son and the abomination hovering over him. Jacques was at her side in the breadth of a heartbeat. The human slayer and watcher raced in just as the vampiress stepped back and let the frightened mother scoop up her baby. She was humming and the watcher groaned. Shea tried to catch the tune but failed to recognize it.

"Can someone tell me why Dru is humming a Taylor Swift song?" Vi asked, giving her a small glare.

"And we talk real low, cause its late and your mama don't know," Dawn sang along to the woman called Drus humming. She blushed brightly. "Sorry, I watched the CMAs."

"Dawn, do not add fuel to the crazy vampire's fire," Vi muttered. "Dru, what are you doing here?"

"Talking real low," Dru murmured, looking over at the infant.

"Okay, you better get the baby out of here, like now," Dawn murmured to Shea. "Dru's talking kinda crazy, even for Dru."


	29. Inconceivable

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Inconceivable  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Dru, Feehan owns Jacques  
FfA Pairing: Drusilla/Jacques (Christine Feehans Dark Series)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: That is the most ridiculous bit of crap I have ever heard.  
A/N: Future bit of Dark Inklings, but I needed to get it out in the verse before I get to it in DI. The HSM2 stuff popped up because I just got the CD (and yes, I realize its aimed at kids and all of the actors are ridiculously younger than me)

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Inconceivable

Dawn stared at the vampire and the Carpathian that both probably should have been put in rubber rooms long ago, or put down in Dru's case. Jacques gave her a dark look. In retaliation she started singing High School Musical 2 songs in her head. She would have stuck to the ones in the first one, but they were tons better than the ones in the sequel. Jacques gave her a small growl.

"You asked for it," Dawn muttered. She stared back at the now captive vampire. "You know we should stake her. Angel and Spike even admit she has to be put down - she's completely off kilter, you know that, right?"

"She's a psychic. She's someone's lifemate," Watcher.

"She's been dead for a hundred plus years, she ain't anybodys mate. She's D-E-A-D."

Jacques only looked over at his lifemate and child. He knew that the vampire female was not his son's lifemate, but that of an older warrior. A warrior the Carpathian race could not afford to lose, as they had lost far too many of their males. Someone who was barely hanging on, like he had once been.

"We've converted vampires back before," Jacques laced his fingers between his mate's. "Alexandria -"

"Wasn't dead and was turned partially by a Carpathian vampire. No vampires come back from the dead -"

"Grandmummy did, after Daddy killed her in mean old California." Drusilla started swaying in her cage.

"By the freaky ass evil Senior Partners. It doesn't count, Drusilla," Dawn snapped. She looked back at Jacques and now his older brother. "I'm sorry, but your male is as good as dead. On the plus side? He could already be dead."

"He breathes, he waits on baited breath," Dru sang from her prison. "His voice is musical, and young and he's a gambler."

"She sees our male?" Mikhail tried to read the captive, but found an impressive fog where her thoughts should be.

"No, she's hearing Zac Efron singing 'Bet It'," Jacques sighed. Dawn gaped at him. "You're still thinking of the Disney musical, watcher."


	30. Coulda Been a Contender

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Coulda Been a Contender  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns Cordelia, Disney owns Sharpay  
FfA Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Sharpay Evans (High School Musical)  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: This is my punishment, right?  
A/N: Have you seen HSM? Have you bathed in the wonderful cracktastic musical sensation it is?  
A/N2: Because, apparently this is also set in the Satan's Camaro verse - do not ask me how, but it just is.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Coulda Been a Contender

Minus the glowing blonde locks and it so could have been her to a T ten years ago. Crushing out on a boy who barely knew she existed - no, scratch that. Both this Troy person and Angel had been frightened of the divas in question. Cordelia watched as the girl in question threw a huge tantrum as chili fries ruined her obviously designer blouse. She winced in sympathy before turning to the Power beside her.

"So this is my punishment, why?" Cordelia asked.

"She will be a champion," the Power murmured.

"And she needs the whole visionary thing?" Cordelia sighed. "Remind me again why her lapdog of a twin can't do it again?"

"He has his own demon to fight for him, she's very devoted to the little twit," the Powers voice changed slightly as a new Power slipped into the translucent and quivering skin. "And they have clashing personalities."

"You know that's completely disgusting, right?" Cordelias nose wrinkled in disgust.

"No one asked you to do it, now did they?" the Other Power shot back. "And yes, its your punishment for giving birth to Jasmine."

"You know, it so took two to tango," Cordelia snapped as Sharpay Evans huffed towards their invisible forms.

"Why do you think the Destroyer was sent to guard over the Key and the transforming aliens?"

"And I thought Sharpay was the greater of two evils," Cordelia shuddered.

"I haven't told you who Ryan's guardian is yet, Cheerleader," Whistler's voice came out through the Others mouth as a short blonde woman appeared on his other side.

"Well, crap."


	31. Humble Servitude  Take Two

Series: 31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux  
Title: Humble Servitude - Take Two  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns his stuff, Davies owns Torchwood.  
Summary: 31 encounters of the creepy and not so creepy kind. FfA pairings.  
Part Summary: Two guys meet at a bar.  
FfA Pairing: Lorne/Jack Harkness (Doctor Who/Torchwood)  
SPOILERS: Torchwood: Children of Earth  
A/N: Sniffles alerts. You have been warned...or not o_O.

**__**

31 Nights of Frights, Part Deux

__

Humble Servitude - Take Two

Jack wasn't sure why he was back on earth, after losing everyone. Owen, Toshiko, Ianto, _his grandson_ - and Gwen's trust in him. Time was supposed to heal all wounds, but honestly all Time did was rub salt further into his soul, keeping the wound brutally open for all to see.

"Ahh, All Hallow's Eve," a lyrical voice said from beside him.

"The one night of the year you can come as you aren't," Jack replied, sliding his glance over to the man beside him. A quirk of the brow was all of the reaction he made to the green man beside him.

"Hell, it's the only night of the year I can come as I am," the green man - more likely _alien_, now that Jack thought about it - chuckled ruefully.

"Alien?"

"I've never actually heard that one," the green man smiled at him, and tipped his fingers to the red horns coming out of his forehead. "Demon I've heard _a lot_, but now that you mentioned it, a Transdimensional entity would be considered an alien, wouldn't it?"

"Yup," Jack smiled back, the light not reaching his eyes.

"You know, three years ago, I'd have been in my karaoke bar in L.A. begging you not to sing out your worries to me," the green man sighed. "But, looking at you _now_ after everything I've been through, I wouldn't have to ask what made you look so sad and tired."

"Really, why's that?" Jack asked, not sure where the conversation was going.

"Because I've seen that look in my mirror every morning for three years," the green man pushed away from the counter, a card in his hand. "If you need anything, I'm in a little place called Lima."

The demon smiled at him as he pushed back from the bar. Jack called out to him, pocketing the card.

"I didn't catch your name?"

"I'm Lorne," the green man called. "And FYI, sweetheart, it's on the card."


End file.
